What the Feminine is perimenopause?

What the hell is happening to me? This one is personal, but in the spirit of therapist disclosure and boundaried authenticity, I will be spilling the beans.

My body has been like clockwork, well that’s how it’s felt. I turned thirty years old and something clicked. It was a light bulb moment, a zen like moment of truth, and it went like this…. ‘your body has been made to create babies’ .From then I knew that it was not only what I wanted but that it was the perfect time for me and my body. I wasn’t panicked. It was a calm belief that it was time for me. Yeah… zen like.

Jump to ten years later! I’m forty years old! How did that happen? FYI, loved my thirty’s. The empowerment that comes with not caring what people think anymore. But! now again, like clockwork, there has been a shift, something is different. This is weird.

For me, something changed, more irregular cycles and boobs sore and heavy. Yes I thought I may be pregnant many times, very similar symptoms. I went to my GP. Polyps were discussed and I had an examination for anything that may be causing this irregularity. I should say, my experience with the NHS has always been good, adequate. But I’ve always supplemented my health holistically, doing my own research, listening to my body and eventually I figure it out by self, with the help of online resources and a process of elimination technique. I like to have the information, knowledge is power. More to come on that.

I turned forty not long ago and it felt like, this is really a new chapter in my life. Focused on other things, not making more babies. It feels like my body is telling me you don’t need to make babies anymore. For the record I love babies, and even the thought of having more babies sends me to mush. But my body feels the opposite. Libido! yes! it drops off, you don’t need to do that anymore, not unless you want to.

I do my research, I ask my older sister, is this/ has this happened to you? No? ok, so it’s not all genetic. Apparently my mum breezed through menopause, good for you.

My symptoms included, night sweats, uti’s, (never had those before) aches all over, lower libido, feeling tired, brain fog (not reserved for pregnancy and post partum, but for life!) Oh and this is fun, stubborn belly fat, thanks for that. So not only is your libido lower, but you are fighting with a once super trim body. I still exercise and eat healthy but I have come to accept I am now one size bigger… and that’s ok.

This cant be menopause. I’m too young. I read ‘Wild Power’ by Alexander Pope. To understand my cycle, is to get my power back. Then I find Dr Mary Claire a prominent gynaecologist and expert on menopause and PERI…menopause. Bingo! Its not a myth, its real!…and you can see symptoms from your mid thirties.

Now this is when I have some questions. I know women of a certain generation still don’t like to discuss menopause, like it’s some hidden embarrassing secret, but what about perimenopause, am I all alone in this? Certainly none of my friends have mentioned it. I do like to get it all out there, but step forward anyone that feels the same. It would seem that in the States, women are more open when discussing this, and this is where I have gained an arsenal of information and knowledge.

Instagram is your friend, @drmaryclaire explains what’s going on with your hormones… thepauselife.com/pages/link-in-bio she explains it all so well, the biology but also your options, empowering women to talk about it more. HRT isn't the cancer causing treatment we have been made to believe it is. Please check out her page for detailed, well researched information on this.

There is so much more I could say, but everyone is different and so symptoms are different. See your GP, but also don’t rely on them, look into it yourself. Oh and the ANXIETY, if it’s happening more, it might not be your mental health alone, it is very much, another symptom of perimenopause.

I’ve made some changes, extra supplements, magnesium, zinc. There is a lot of information out there, so filtering out what helps you, takes some time. BUT if these totally natural but uncomfortable changes are impacting your mental health, try and find the time to talk about it.

Oh and I have spent quite a bit of time explaining it to my husband, they need to know too. They can be your ally in this, but communication is key.

For key reading on the impact perimenopause and menopause can have on women’s mental health please follow this link to a Cambridge University press article.

Severe mental illness and the perimenopause | BJPsych Bulletin | Cambridge Core